Hello....is there anybody out there?

Um....Wow! It's been over a freaking year since I've updated my blog you guys! 

I think it's time to dust it off and get back at it!! 

Ok so 2013 came and went. It was full of ups and downs. But most importantly we were blessed with a beautiful happy chubby baby boy!! 

Allow me to introduce to you Gavin Dean 

He was born Sept 18th 2013. He was  8lbs 8oz and 21.25 inches long. 

I found out I was pregnant Jan 12th 2013 after TTC for 6 months. It took longer than I thought it would and that took a toll on me,my marriage and ultimately my weight. I gained back all the weight I lost after having Kyla plus 15 extra pounds for good measure :/

My pregnancy was not easy this time around. I developed perinatal cardiomyopathy, so I was put on bed rest when I was 7 months along. 

Not fun! I had to go out on disability which was a huge blow to our finances. So we pulled Kyla out of daycare. Having a 2.5 year old stuck inside all day is no bueno. Luckily my family would take her places or even just to their houses to play and have a change of environment. I felt so guilty that she had to be trapped in the house with me it really tore me apart. 

But we made it thru! And I have my perfect baby boy to show for it! He completes our family and I can't imagine life without him !

Kyla turned 3 on Dec 17th - we had just a family party this year, because finances were super tight. But she loved her princess party!! She has become such a little lady. We have real conversations and real arguments. She has so much sass and personality !! When she tells me I'm her best friend my heart swells so much I think it will explode. 

So things are getting back to normal now. I'm back at work. Getting back into our routine with the addition of Gavin. 

 

I just started WW again. With Gavin I only gained 25 lbs. and I lost it on my own within a month after having him. But remember those extra lbs I was holding onto? Yea still have to lose those pesky buggers!! Around 60 of em! 

I cleared my weight history and I'm starting fresh. 

Ok well that should bring you up to speed for now. I really want to commit to blogging at least once a week! I just read back my old posts and I'm so happy I have them to look back on. 

Oh Sandy!

Well I am back from a loooong hiatus of not blogging! The past 7 days have been crazy here in NJ. We had a "frankenstorm" blow through the Garden State and turn things upside down and inside out! We have been without electricity for 7 days. Thank God for our amazing family we have not had to suffer - We have been given a generator to use by Mikey's grandpa, meals and hot showers by my aunts and uncles. It could have been much much worse for us.

On October 29th 2012 Hurricane Sandy barreled in and devasted the tri state area. The hardest hit areas were Staten Island, NY Long Island and the beautiful Jersey Shore.

The Jersey Shore is much more than some stupid show about some douchey guidos. Its where we spend our summer vacation with our family. It is where familes live and business are run - and all that is devasted now.

Its sad that that stupid show is what people think of when they hear about the Jersey Shore - because its much more than that.

I have had sooo many memories - my most recent are the summers I spent there with my Grampy. He loved Long Beach Island so much. I am so blessed to have been able to spend those last years with him.

I pray for the people that had there homes destroyed and all those who have lost everything. Hopefully we can all band together to rebuild - and we can continue to make memories there.

January Goals

Welp we are on the last day of January 2012!! Time to see how I did for my 1st month of the new me :)

Here were the goals I committed to in January


1. I will log my daily food/exercise into myfitnesspal.com - everyday for 30 days no matter if i eat donuts and ice cream all day - I am committing to log it.

2. My weight loss goal for Jan is 5lbs

3. I will commit to do Turbo Fire 5-6 days a week and 1 hot yoga class a week

4. I will set up my monthly budget and track spending

5. I will use the tips and organizing calenedars on my fave blogs to get/stay organized in Jan

6. I will go to church every sunday in Jan


1. I did log into myfitnesspal.com everyday for 30 days staright.But there were days where I didn't log 100% of my food - mainly bc I knew I was waaay over, but there were also days when I did log even though I was waaaay and it was an eyeopener. MFP has been a tremendous motivator for me - I joined a Biggest Loser Competition on there and it was helped me stay on track I Love it!!!

2.I DID IT !!!!!! I actually lost 5.2lbs!!! Im soooo ecstatic about this!! because since I weigh my self every morning I was getting discouraged that the weight wasnt coming off. But I kept at it and I reached my goal

3. This I did ok on - I prob got in on average more like 3-4 days a week. Last week I added in Chalean Extreme and Im doing a combo of both. The constant cardio was killing my knees plus - I love lifting weights makes me feel powerful

4. I didnt do to well on this one - But Its a work in progress- I have download the YNAB software and Im still implementing Dave Ramsey's method. This goal definitly was not reached this month {whomp whomp}

5. I have been slowly getting my organizing butt in shape- My new addiction is Pinterest.com !! Lets just say I never got the how to run a clean and organized household memo so learning all these tips are life changing. I converted my husband closet into an office for me, his clothes were moved into my massive walk-in that I had plenty of room in. I organized all my family's medications, Organized our file cabinet, Converted our basement into a playroom/workout space. Ive been doing much much better with keeping the house clean as well.

6. this was a fail completely. I went once :( but I really wanted to go every Sunday. I suck.
I really loved Jacksonville Chapel and I am definitely going to go more in February.

So I think I did ok for my 1st month at this ... what do you think?

Ok onto Febuarary's goals:

1. Lose 4-5lbs this month
2. 2-3 date nights with hubby (not including V-day)
3. Church - at least twice!!!!!
4. STICK TO OUR BUDGET
5. Use Coupons for every grocery trip
6. Complete a 2011 Perry Family Yearbook

#6 is a pinterest.com find that I want to start doing every year !!

I orginally saw the idea here

I am pumped for February !!!

Happy Birthday Kyla

Ok it was almost a month ago. I'm a bad mommy... Moving right along

My boogie boo turned 1 on December 17th. I can't believe a year has gone by already. She is so amazing. And I'm so honored to be her mama.

I had big plans for her party but seeing as my grampy passed away a week prior, things kind of fell apart.

Nevertheless, she had a wonderful party surrounded by everyone who loves her. And her great grandparents in heaven looking down on her.

Her big brother made a special appearance for the occasion!! She loves him so much

Her theme was minnie mouse hot pink zebra - and I loved her custom outfit!!! It was made by

they have AHHHDORABLE outfits, tutus bows, etc. They also made Kyla's dress when she did a local pageant over the summer. Love them!! www.sweetiepiestyle.com

She got not 1 but 2 fur coats !!! My friends know what a diva miss thang is !!! She got a ton of cute clothes and books, and toys - We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.

Her cakes were made my cousin maria - She did such a great job - I swear she should go into business!!!!!

Thank you to everyone who made it possible - Especially Uncle John and Cheryl who lent us their home and Sanna - who helped us set everything up, Aunt Erin who made food and everyone who came for the festivities

Im 32! Plus Week 1 is complete

So this last week was a good start to my 2012 goals.

On Sunday 1/1/12 I took Kyla to a church Ive been interested in for a while but never ventured away to try it out.
It's a Christian church and I am baptized Catholic - but i am looking to strengthen my faith and set an example for Kyla and Zack to have a strong love for Jesus.
Nothing against the Catholic church but i feel when I went to mass - alot of the time I was just going through the motions - the message wasnt getting through to me - It was more of a routine stand,sit,kneel - I felt like for our family I want them to know why we go to Church I want them to recieve the message.
When we walked in there were a ton of people there - it was bustling!! CEveryone was smiling and saying hi- I walked into the area where the service was happening and went to the spot designated for babies/toddlers.
There was a family next to me- and they had a little girl Kyla's age -
All in all it was a great experiance and I felt very much at home there. We will definitly be back - I hope Mikey will join us too.

I started TurboFire! As many of you know I am a Chalene Johnson Freak - Ive had TurboFire for a while but it always scared me- I bit the bullet and did and yes its very intense - but when it was too much I followed the girl doing the modified moves and it wasnt bad.

On Wednesday I took a hot yoga class with Aunt Erin. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot yoga!! It sound horrible and trust me I still cant believe I enjoy it. The room is set to 104 degrees and you do Vinsaya (sp) yoga. Its awesome the heat really loosens your muscles and you become so much more flexible!!!
This perticular class had almost 50 people in it - so it was a packed room - making it even hotter- normally this would give me an anxiety attack but it doesnt!!

On Friday I turned 32!!! OY VEY!!! I cant believe Im this old!!!!!!!!! But anywho - I feel great. Aunt Erin had dinner and cake for me - She also got me a yoga towel for Hot yoga !! I cant wait to use it!!! I got other awsome gifts too - My godson got me flowers and a Pink Stocking (LOLS) COle got me a lighted mirror for my purse - The Byrne of LP got me cute tops!! and Cheri got me a surprise that should be here tommorow!! (cant Wait!!!)

Saturday during the day we went to Grampy's to clean up thier Xmas decorations and we were allowed to take anything that we wanted. I didnt think I wanted to go to this becasue - I didnt believe I would want anything - But my grandma had so many cute holiday decorations and chotckes; that I came home with 2 bins full!! As well as my dance costumes from when I was a baby and other memory lane stuff

Saturday night me and the ladies went to culture club in the city - its an 80's club and we had soooooo much fun!!!!! we danced like crazy !!! It was awesome

Sunday I was out of commision ! I guess my old age is catching up with me - Mikey l;et me sleep in and I didnt want to move off the couch all day. Somehow we managed to take Xmas down - And reaarange the living room.
I wanted to go to church again but i was just too tired hungover to go.

OH!! I almost forgot ! I joined a biggest loser competition on myfitnesspal.com

My weight loss results for this week were
-2.4 lbs

woo hoo!!! I hope to keep up the momentum for next week

also I will come back in and add pics from the weekend and etc - but I am Zacks computer now so I cant

HELLLOOO 2012

I feel like this is going to be MY year - I really do.

from 2008-2010 I was in wedding planning mode
2010-2011 I was in pregnant/new wife/ new mommy madness mode

2012 - will be about finding my true self and doing all that I can to live the life I want.

I had this discovery in November and was pushing through with my goals and a focused mind - but sadly tragedy struck

As I mentioned in my previous post my grampy suffered a massive stroke and sadly did not recover.

He left this world on December 11th 2011

He never woke up after the stroke - so I don't think he suffered, which gives me peace. He spent his last days on earth surrounded 24/7 by his beloved kids (all 11 of em) and grand-kids and even his only great granddaughter - which i thank God everyday my daughter had an opportunity to meet the man who raised me, and loved me so much unconditionally.

Although she wont remember him - I will always show her pictures and tell her how much he loved her, and how special she was to him.

I miss him so much - I think I am still in shock a bit -

I have peace knowing that he is in heaven with my Grandmother and all his family and friends who went before him.

I just miss him so much - I wasn't ready to say good bye.

So this tragic period in my life put a halt on all my progress - I was so overtaken with grief I stopped caring - Luckily my husband kept reminding me that my grandparents would want us to have a spectacular Christmas for our children and we need to keep the Christmas spirit up even though we were so sad. The children shouldn't lose their Christmas "magic"

So I got through it -

And now I want to regain the focus I had before this heart breaking sadness took over

So I would like to list my resolutions for 2012

1. to lose 35 lbs
2.pay off personal debts and stick to a budget
3.date nights with hubby biweekly
4.keep the house, my car and my purse organized and clean
5.to go to church regularly

I know, I know it seems like a lot - and I am just setting myself up for failure

but am I??

These were my same goals in November, but now that its a New Year I get to rename them as "resolutions"

I am also breaking it down into smaller monthly goals

So for January:

I will log my daily food/exercise into myfitnesspal.com - everyday for 30 days no matter if i eat donuts and ice cream all day - I am committing to log it.

My weight loss goal for Jan is 5lbs

I will commit to do Turbo Fire 5-6 days a week and 1 hot yoga class a week

I will set up my monthly budget and track spending

I will use the tips and organizing calenedars on my fave blogs to get/stay organized in Jan

I will go to church every sunday in Jan

At the end of the month I will re-evaluate my goals and set goals for Feb and so on.

So I am committed to those things for the next 30 days, lets see how I do.

Bob Byrne - Nice Guy

I am writing today about my Grandpa. He is quite simply the most amazing man I have ever known. He was a Dad to 11 kids - 12 counting me!

My mother was unable to take care of me so my grandparents took custody of me when I was 6 months old. At age 12 they thought they should adopt me - more for legality issues - They never wanted to take the title of parent away from my mom - but for everyone's protection they adopted me.


I love both of my grandparents like they were my parents (maybe a little more than most kids) - Sadly I lost my grandma 12/31/06. She was sick for a while - but was doing better, she went into a medically induced coma and died peacefully in the night. The process before hand was very hard - weeks of hospital visits filled with hope that she would get better -

tears - begging her - making deals with God-more tears -pleading - desperation - tears - heartache

I spent Christmas morning sitting next to her in the hospital - a small radio behind us tuned to 106.7 - playing Christmas music complete silence in the room other than that

I held her hand - I was so devasted- but I knew she would never be coming back. I told her I was sorry for all the times I hurt and disappointed her through my teenage years- I told her how she was my hero - how much I loved her how much EVERYONE loved her - I didnt want her to go - but I knew it was not my choice - and I understood that

That evening we gathered at my uncles for Christmas - we had to put on the happy front for the kids - but everyone knew - it was an unspoken understanding that we will lose the woman who has kept this nutty family together for the past however many years

We promised her to NOT FIGHT and to watch after Grandpa - we knew he'd be lost. We would be there for each other and be strong and get through this

and we did - with almost no fighting

We were more than there for Grandpa - we sometimes bordered on being stage 5 clingers with him

We wanted to hold him so tight so that he would never be sad and we felt like we needed to hold on to him much more since we lost her

Everything we did was to make him happy - We vacationed with him - went to his favorite restaurants - called him to come to every time one of our kids took a poop (kidding, kinda)

He loved every minute of it

So 5 years has gone by .....

I feel like I have dejavu

December 1st 2011 - Grandpa suffered a massive stroke

he hasnt woken up

We are at his side - round the clock in his hospital bed

tears-begging him to wake- tears - praying he comes out of it - tears- losing hope- tears-desperation

Am I jaded from my experience with my grandma? Why do I feel my faith/hope slipping away? I am trying to be strong for those around me - but why is so much harder this time around?? -

I am just kind of blogging my jumbled thoughts right now - I apologize if this is all over the place

Please keep my grandfather and my family in your prayers - I am trying to stay positive and trying to keep my faith up - but its been very hard for me.